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what am I doing now?

I had my angel in last days of new year beginned in hospital..prayed never coming back again... I was tramautised with injections trips and delivery stiches...

even now i dont want to think about it...

Days with my new born was not easy peasy

i was not prepared for my sleepless nights and continuous back aches and stale food..during pregnancy i was offered best food.. but after birth food sucks... i came back to my pre pregnancy weight because of the food

back aches was my shadow... i was irritated much because of sleepless nights...

i coudnt climb up stairs or even sit properly... my husband and my mom bathed me for 10 days... i coudnt do my work at all...being dependent is not me.... i was still struggling to ask help ... i felt i was weak... i coudnt ask for help easily... i had to unlearn... it i asked my husband my mother in law my parents my siblings for everything... they did too

i realised its ok to be dependant ... not everything can be done by being independant

asking for help is ok

accepting help is ok

sharing your pain instead of masking it is ok

days went by...

still sleep is an issue... somehow managed to eat normal foood.... back ache still doesnt leave me...

My husband asked me to do something in free time... he is going through tough phases... ik i cant express my postpartum blues to him... i cant expect him to understand...from this side as a wife... i felt hopeless during pregnancy not helping him not able to share the load for him... for few days i felt him expecting from me was frustrating... but... i read in instagram

anger frustraction comes from what we expect from others... you cant expect anyone to behave accordingly...if you want someone to behave according to you... you must behave according to them.. be a giver to be a reciever...

i want my partner to understand me

i shld understand my partner

i want space from my partner

i shld give space

i want no fights

i shld not fights...

i want myself to be my partners safe place...i prayed god show me wayy

i took up a akshaic records...

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Looking Back @2023

From having trouble during wedding by outsiders to having issues in marraige I grew up. dint thought ill have a baby as soon as i married in march 2023 marraige done iin granduer way, hard goodbyes ,


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